Opening Thoughts on Fixing the Church

March tenth, two thousand nine. It’s been over five months — almost half a year — that I’ve been contemplating this blog.

It began in October when the campaigns for the 2008 presidential election were in full swing. By the time that election week arrived, I was so entrenched in a political issue that has long been a hot-button topic for me that I found myself abandoning what I inwardly knew to be my calling and commission as a disciple of Christ. As many well-intentioned Christians often do, I convinced myself that it was more important to “stand up” for what I believed to be right than it was to display the love, humility, patience and gentleness that should mark the life, speech and actions of a believer.

When Election Day was over and the dust began to settle, I began to evaluate the results of what I had believed to be some noble stand on my part. I slowly began to arrive at the uncomfortable realization that I had behaved quite shamefully and succeeded only in making an ass of myself to a rather large number of people. I had treated a fellow sister in Christ, one whom I respect deeply for her dedication to the Kingdom, with such scorn and derision for what I believed to be an errant position on her part that I had only succeeded in twisting myself into a hateful distortion of Christian zeal. In the process, I also caused another close friend, one who knows about my faith but does not share it, to radically and negatively change the way she perceived me. Suddenly, I became just another televangelist, an angry preacher pounding his fist against a pulpit, one of the sort who demeans the lost as evil sinners instead of pointing them toward the redemption of the cross, and one who would recklessly plow over another believer for the purpose of simply trying to win an argument.

As weeks passed, I began to realize not only that I had embarrassed myself by my selfish behavior, but also that God was telling me something even more unsettling: I wasn’t right for the wrong reasons; I was simply wrong.

I am a stubborn person, and though I would like to imagine that I am growing in humility as I grow in age, I know this is far from the truth. Yet, the realization that my entire approach and premise to this particular hot-button issue may have been wrong was what started me down the path of thought, prayer, and Scripture that eventually led to the creation of this blog.

I think that perhaps I am not alone and that many Christians tend to fall into the same trap that so often entangles me — that is, to miss the forest for the trees, so intent on upholding good over evil that we forget our primary purpose, calling, and commission as the Body of Christ: to love God, love others, share the Gospel, and make disciples. My supposed “bold stand” against what I still believe to be one of the great evils of our day was earnestly intended, but fatally misguided, because it communicated love to no one, turned people away from the Gospel, and built up no believer in the faith.

At some point in the near future, I will address this particular “hot-button issue” as well as several others. I will explain why I am gradually changing my mind entirely about the way issues like this should, and must, be approached. Suffice it to say it is vastly different from the fiery sermon I attempted to deliver last November.

But for now, I wanted to simply share, as opening thoughts, the situation that started this whole process and led me to this point. I want to admit freely that this “challenge to the church to rediscover its highest calling,” which I have presented as the simplified explanation of the admittedly presumptuous title “Fixing the Church,” is a challenge coming from one who is repeatedly guilty of the very things from which I intend to call the global church away.

And in the interest of full disclosure, though I prefer to maintain some degree of anonymity as I don’t really know where this blog will take me, it’s only fair that I acknowledge that I have been involved in ministry, both volunteer and vocationally, for nearly all of my adult life (which sounds long, but I’m honestly not that old). That said, I do not intend to share any of the thoughts that follow as any sort of minister or some sort of spiritual authority, or some learned Bible scholar, or some mouthpiece charged by God with a holy message to deliver.

I simply hope to share with you that which God is teaching me in my own life, and which I think may have broad relevance for Christians around the world as well. Fixing the church must begin with you and me. I believe that God gives us the privilege of being part of each other’s growing process, and I hope not only to share my thoughts with you, but also to engage you in conversation and read your feedback, that we might both grow as a result.

This comes with the full expectation that parts of this process may prove controversial. We Christians don’t like to be told that we need to “fix” anything. We like sermons that make us feel like we are right on track and free to go about our business, when God tells us instead that he continually refines us as gold in the fire, and molds us as the potter shapes the clay. Growth is never comfortable. It’s been no easy process for me to reflect on the events of five months ago and say into the mirror, “I was wrong.”

And I’ll inevitably mess things up along the way; I will have moments of stupidity that you will hopefully help me rethink. Like I said, I’m no authority. I’m just a guy who loves Jesus and is trying to discover how God is calling me to change, even if those changes go against the status-quo of American church culture.

I hope that you’ll embark on this journey with me. Welcome to “Fixing the Church.”

~ by The Apostate on March 10, 2009.